A Simple Phrase That Changed The Way That I Feel About Myself

I don’t know about you, but I love words. Sometimes I come across a sentence or a phrase, and it really hits. When someone speaks to us, it has the power to make us feel invincible or cause us to crumble to pieces. The Bible even says that the tongue has the power of life and death. How many times have we read a news report about someone being bullied to the point of suicide? It is so sad that someone could believe that their value is reduced to whatever horrible thing someone says about them, but that is how our brains work. The power of suggestion is nothing new and it is used by media, advertising companies, self help gurus, and parents getting their kids to eat their vegetables.

Knowing the power of words, I always have tried to be intentional about the things that I speak to people. I want the things I say to have weight and value, so that when I tell my kids or anyone else things like “I believe in you” and “You can do this”, they know that I mean it and that I’m not just throwing out inspirational clichés.

When it comes to myself, though, I haven’t always been so kind. I extend a grace to others that I would never give to myself, speaking more to another’s victories while at the same time magnifying my defeats. I may say to someone else “Have that cake, you deserve it” but tell myself that I failed and shouldn’t have had any. I may encourage someone else that they are an excellent mom and then pick myself apart in my mind, recounting every failure.

Then I had a realization that changed everything. What if I treated myself the way that I treat others? It’s kind of like a reverse golden- rule, right? I try to give grace, be patient, uplift, and take care of others, so it is time to do it towards myself as well. Once that realization took hold deep within me, I found these words coming out of my mouth…

I’M PROUD OF YOU.

This time was different, though. I was saying it to me. I was acknowledging that I’ve come a long way and that I may not be perfect, but I’m getting better. I started treating myself as a friend and letting my inner voice reflect one of kindness, hopefulness, and encouragement. And do you know what happened? I’m happier, I feel lighter, and I am even reaching goals quicker. I’m getting back up faster after I fall down. I’m also more relaxed and present for others because I’m not letting self criticism distract me.

Do you need to make friends with yourself, too? Start by acknowledging your victories, hard things you overcame, or even perseverance in things you are still dealing with. Even small things are worth celebrating (like brewing your own coffee instead of paying 5 bucks that day) or putting on real pants! Then follow it with these words,

“I’m proud of you”.

Say it plenty!